Tonight on Archaelogy: A Window to the Past

The majestic Tyrannosaurus Rex (Tyrannosaurusus Rexus Carnivorusicus) is known by many names, neither of which are the following:

"Death on two legs". "King of the jungle".

Fierce, alert, and often deadly, these ancient creatures were revered by fellow dinosaurs everywhere for their unrivaled hunting technique (and dainty forearms (something specifically envied by the Triceratops, but that's a story for another time.)) Standing at over 120 feet tall, these colossi are the scientific world's tallest enigmas. Not much is known about them, but most arcaeologists have concluded that they spoke Spanish and used other smaller dinosaurs as currency. They engaged in many primitive behaviors also exhibited by humans; the use of rocks as tools, slavery, and perhaps most importantly, an early form of suntanning. Yes, these marvelous creatures were known for their impeccable complexion. While not found natively in the area now known as "Europe", it is widely accepted that the Tyrannosaurus Rex generally belonged to the Situationist International during the 1960's.

This is all that man, ever ignorant, will ever know about the noble T-Rex (also known as Tyrannosaurus Rex) unless you dial in your pledge right now.