In the Future...

In the future, flying cars fill the hazy sky, zooming back and forth, up and down, on their way to work, school, or the recreational government-sanctioned virtual reality grid. Stores and businesses appear higher and higher in the sky to attract airborne customers, though many shops and construction workers will accidentally float off into space during construction. The workers' families will be compensated for these careless and avoidable deaths in Spesos (space pesos,) the new national currency of the FUSSF (Future United Space States of the Future.) Crime will no longer exist thanks to new laws prohibiting crimes from being committed. These laws will be brutally enforced by animatronic Disney characters. Of course, taking into account the third dimension, flying car travel will inevitably cause numerous deaths and traffic violations. Offenders will perform community service, i.e. bottling Coca-Cola-Carbon (zero microcalories!) or working for another multiplanetary corporation. Although these corporations own every inch of land and every fresh water source, new prefab shelters are being constructed everyday. The bars on the windows were a stylistic choice!

In the future, fashion will have really taken off (excuse the rocket pun,) and shining, glimmering fabrics filled with dye and covered in moon-crystal sequins will be the new style. Logos are in, bellbottoms are still out, and those horrifying, soulless dark sunglasses fashionable in the late 2000s will have all been melted down and made into plastic swords, a hip new accoutrement for the bourgeois class. Duels with said accessories are going to be fought in order to curb the steadily-rising population, though these duels will usually last for hours, even days. I mean, have you ever tried to kill someone with a plastic sword? It's a good thing that everyone follows their augmented reality day planners, or these things would never get done.

In the future, pills will have replaced gourmet meals, and nanomachines have allowed us to gain immunity to all disease and become safer, barring some unforeseen technical issue that would cause the nanomachines to turn against us, tearing our innards asunder in a horrifically violent and graphic rebellion. But that's the worst that could happen. Additionally, scientists will begin work on a chip that will let you block pop-up windows with your mind! This will be extremely helpful in the future, as these windows now frequently "pop up" inside of the human brain. As they say, with the invention of advanced technologies comes great responsibility... and jetpacks.